Staying safe

If you are in an abusive relationship, there are three important steps you can consider: 

• recognise that it is happening to you 
• accept that you are not to blame 
• get help and support. 

Domestic abuse - more information on recognising the different forms it takes

Safety plans

The most important step you can take to protect yourself and your children from abuse is to create a safety plan. Because you know your abuser’s actions and behaviours, you can use this knowledge to build a plan.  

In an emergency, always call the police on 999.  

There are things you can do to increase your own safety and that of your children. For example, there may be a pattern to the abuse which may enable you to plan ahead to increase your safety.  

There are a lot of things to think about, but it is important for your safety and that of your children, to start planning and exploring how you can protect yourself from violence and future abuse. You may choose to work on your plan with a trusted family member, friend or colleague.  

Remember, you are not responsible for the actions of your abuser, only they are, and only they can stop it.  

Staying safe in the home

There are some things you can do to help you with your personal safety within the home including:

• consider having a mobile phone - keep this charged and to hand
• be aware of the location of household keys – get an extra set cut if possible 
• stay away from cupboards, wardrobes, and small spaces 
• stay away from the kitchen, bathroom, and stairs 
• get to a room with an external door or window to escape from or call for help 
• make sure other people in the house, for example children, have a safety plan and know how to make a 999 call. 

Personal safety

Safety apps

There are lots of useful apps available for devices which can help to log evidence and offer protection to someone experiencing domestic abuse. However when downloading an app you need to be careful that it does not increase risk especially if there is a chance your device is being monitored.

Duluth power and control wheels

The “Duluth Model” is an ever-evolving way of thinking about how a community works together to end domestic abuse.

The Duluth wheels are useful tools for both practitioners and victims. They describe the tactics and range of behaviours used by those choosing to harm, and the impact it has on their victims. There are several wheels that can be referred to: